Just before the start of the New Year, I had an embarrassing fall and broke my little pinky toe. I was trying to get up from sitting on the floor and got my momentum going before I got my footing secure. And I bit it. Hardcore.

It's still not healed. And my little piggy on the end is a sad sight, it's still twice as large as its counterpart and painful when I step on it wrong. That is sad.

It's also sad that yesterday, while picking up pizzas for Nate's Valentine party at school, I stepped on a patch of thin ice and fell again, this time landing square on my knee. But my knee didn't hurt nearly as much as my pride -- I fell in front of other parents who rushed over to see if I was okay. I could hear the carpool lane talk later -- "Did you see the pregnant lady fall? Oh man, did you get a look at her face as she hit that ice? Priceless."

At the Valentine party, I backed into the coat hangers at an incredible rate of speed and bruised the fleshy part of my ample arm, something fierce. This is just a normal day for me -- fall, bruise, repeat.

When I told Adam about falling in the parking lot and how embarrassed I was, he said -- "Don't worry, those other moms already know you, so they're probably aware that you're clumsy."

Yep. No surprises here!

{almost} Wordless Monday

I'm Dreaming of a Pantry

Don't you hate when your amazing plans get de-railed? Or am I the only one who hates it when I think something is headed a certain way, and then I have to re-adjust?

I'm a planner by nature. I like to have things to think about, plan for, and look forward to. I can be spontaneous about some things, but about most things I want to know The Plan. To the last excruciating detail. I'm sure that this is not so much fun for the people in my life, because if they so much as mention a "possible" something, I'm already in my head planning out how it would work. If Adam mentions that we "might" go on a trip to such-and-such a place, I'm thinking about what time we'll leave and which hotel we'll stay in. I'm already planning what I'll wear when we go out to that one restaurant we love. And then he is, of course, regretting ever telling me about it.

I do this for the little things, and the big things in our lives. It has been killing me to have our future so up-in-the-air. I've mentioned it more than once on this blog. I don't get uptight about it because I'm not sure things will work out -- I know things will always work out -- but mostly because I want to know where we'll be living. I want to start planning for the next house, and the move, and time it out perfectly so as to have the most smooth transition as possible.

Originally, Adam and I had planned that we would start looking for a new home as soon as we had an answer from Baylor (which is where he works now as a resident -- and where he has applied to become faculty of the residency program). Well, last week we got the official news that things are a "go" and he's got the job. Exciting! I immediately started dreaming about a kitchen pantry and a garage door that doesn't open into the master bedroom (yes, you heard that correctly) and perhaps a neighborhood with kids that my kids could play with. But after a quick review of finances (it didn't take that long, there isn't much to count...haha) we realized that if we could stay in this house for a few more months, we could be prepared to move into a much better home than we could move into right now. So, like, late summer. As in, we're going to bring our baby home to this house. As in, we're going to be here for six more months. I'm more than a little disappointed. I know I should be grateful that we even have a house. I know that, but I guess the difficult part for me is that, mentally, I'd already moved away from this place. The home with no pantry :) The home with kitchen cupboards that don't close and kitchen drawers that fall out if you pull them past the half-way point. The home with the worn-out tubs that the landlord painted with white paint. The home with the fence that is falling apart and the laundry closet that is the first thing you see when you open the door, along with the living room and the kitchen sink (all things that make a surprise visit difficult to field). The home with white walls and nasty wallpaper and oh-my-heck do I really have to live here six more months?????

I guess the thing that makes me the most sad is that I'd really hoped to have the nursery ready when the baby arrived...the nursery in our new home. There isn't much of a point to decorating when she won't even use the room here before we do move (she'll only be a couple months old when we do end up moving...and probably still in the bassinet next to our bed). And it makes it even more sad because I've decided on the colors and I'm really excited to get started... but I can't! :( I mean, how cute is this inspiration piece?!?! (and coincidentally the only piece of animal print in the whole room, don't worry, I'm not going overboard...)



And don't tell the baby, but she's going to have to share it with my photography clients.... How can I NOT use this at work?! :)

Don't worry, spoiled me is going to be alright. I just have to adjust. I have so much to be grateful for, and hopefully someday I can add A PANTRY to that list ;)

Even in our imperfections (like our binky addictions), we're darling.

And we love you. We want you to know that.

The whole Murdock clan wishes you a beautiful Valentine's Day. May you have those you love around you and may you remember that no matter what, there is Someone who loves you for all that you are, all that you are becoming, and all that you will be someday. There is One who loves unconditionally. There is Someone who wishes to teach you about True Love. Learn more about His Love on this very special website.

We love you! Happy Valentine's Day!

February is for Lovers

Oh, what a fabulous weekend. January was a tough month for the Murdocks, and although there are a few struggles still lingering, this weekend was so wonderful that I hardly feel the need to complain. Don't get me wrong, I'll probably still complain, but I don't feel the need. (haha)

January was a particularly stressful month for Adam with regards to work. He was working at Children's and working some long hours (which are actually regular resident hours, but with his really easy schedule lately, it was tough to have him gone so much...and it was tough on him to work such long hours). He worked two weeks straight without a day off (and still taking call at the hospital -- sleeping there overnight every few nights). Anyways. January was tough for all of us. Finally, that rotation was over last week and he had the weekend off. We took full advantage and spent Saturday doing errands and chores...together...which makes doing them so much easier and so much more fun! Saturday night we got a babysitter and went on a real date. Generally, we celebrate Valentine's Day on a weekend in February that is NOT close to February 14th. We find it to be much more relaxing, because it's easier to find a babysitter and easier to get a table at the restaurant we are going to. So, we had our Valentine's Day date this weekend, and went to dinner and a movie. It was so lovely to just be together. I really missed my husband last month!

Superbowl Sunday was great too...we made it to church on time and were all there! I don't think that's happened for awhile. After church, we came home to a roast cooking in the kitchen and while we waited for it to be ready, the whole family dog-piled on the couch and took turns napping on one another. It was so comfy and perfect.

Many of you have asked about our plans for the future. Most of you probably know that Adam is going to be done with his residency in the fall (September) and that we have been thinking about the next adventure (read: job) for awhile now. I have hesitated to talk about it much, especially on the blog, because you never know who is reading -- and I don't want to say anything that would hurt his chances at a fabulous job. (I tend to do that -- say things that I immediately wish I hadn't!) Anyway, a few months ago his residency program director asked him to consider applying for a faculty position with Baylor (basically, he would be the residents' boss...or one of them at least) and so he did. It's been a long road since then (I'll leave out the details but MAN it has tried my patience!), but we're hoping to hear for sure tomorrow. Of course, Adam has told me at least five times that he'll "hear about the job tomorrow" so I'm not holding my breath. I am, however, completely sick of not knowing what we're going to be doing next. It might be nesting with this pregnancy, but I am desperate to know where we'll be and find a house and a school for Nate, etc. It's killing me to wait! I'm not a patient person! :) I was really hoping that we'd know for sure that we were staying here and then be able to find a home and move before the baby is born. We'll see if that is going to happen or not.

And lastly for this boring post, if you haven't already -- and actually, even if you already have -- head over to the Mamarazzi Boot Camp blog and check out this amazing workshop! We've been working really hard on it and I would love to have you be a part of it! Also, we're planning a Salt Lake City one for the fall (maybe August?) so PLEASE let me know if you're interested in that. We'll for sure do one if we have enough interest.

Love you all!

Snippets

My goal to post more in 2010 is really not going well! So I decided to post a few random items. It's not the best post, but at least I'm posting, eh?

Just before the holidays, our Wii broke. Nate wrote a very sad letter to my brother Thomas about the Wii being broken. My brother got a kick out of it:


To Thomas from Nathan 11 11-19-09
Dear Thomas there is bad news and good news the bad news is the Wii broke and the good news is I will be ok.
Do you like the Wii broken?
yes or no
Love, Nathan 11

Nate's "number" in school is 11 and he always writes it along with his name. {Don't get me started on the fact that the school has given my son a number. Is his name not enough of a distinguishing factor or do we need to further emphasize that school is prison by giving the inmates numbers? Do I need to have his number tatooed on him somewhere just to be certain that the teacher will know who he is?}

We have since sent the Wii away to be fixed, and it came back to us a couple weeks ago. In the short time span of those couple weeks, I have considered purposely breaking it more than eight hundred times. Even the little guy begs for the Wii all day long. He loves to play Baseball on the Wii Sports disc.

****

One of the things I dislike most about my day is that I drive Nate to and from school. It gets a little old. But, it's a decision we made so that he could go to the school he's in (there are no buses from our neighborhood to that school because it's not our "area school" but in our district you can choose to go to any school you'd like). The main reason for my dislike is that the other parents who drive their kids to school are idiots. Plain and simple. They have no concept of four-way stops, and some even drop their kids off across the street and make them run across the busy street (through the traffic, with no crosswalk or crossing guard) instead of waiting in the drop-off line. This morning I almost hit a child who bolted across the street in front of my car.
But the four-way stop thing is what gets me the most angry. Every single morning people do rolling stops, don't pay attention to who was at the stop first, and just power their way through the intersection. There is no courtesy, no regard for, you know, laws. And then they will stack themselves into the intersection three or four cars deep, blocking the intersection. Ans when I don't go because there is no room behind the last car and I'd be in the intersection, I get honked at.
Grrr. It almost makes me want to walk the four mile trip twice every day. (Almost. But I've posted about that before...it's not a good option. And that street I talked about in that post? In December a little girl was walking along the street where there are no sidewalks and was hit and killed....and the driver kept on going.)

***

There are about three hundred projects going on right now in my personal and my business life. I'm so very excited about them. First is the grand-daddy of them all, the Mamarazzi Boot Camp. About a year ago, I started thinking about hosting a workshop/class for moms who want to take better pictures of their kids. I have been trying to find a good time to do it, and also I wanted to be sure that I really thought about what I wanted to offer, rather than just launching into it and figuring it out as I went. I met another photographer here in Dallas who I really like, and our personalities are just different enough that we can work really well together. I had a meeting with her several weeks ago and asked her to come on board with me and get the ball rolling for these classes. Over the course of several phone calls and several hundred emails (seriously), we came up with the Mamarazzi Boot Camp. Which actually is a slight deviation from my original idea because we won't be talking about childrens' photography exclusively, but I'm fine with that -- it will be a class that everyone can benefit from. I'm excited to have our Dallas workshop and we're working on a late summer/early fall workshop for Salt Lake City.

***

They released me from my "job" working with the young women at my church. It was the right timing, and I knew that it was coming so I wasn't too surprised or disappointed, although I was sad to be done with that calling. I love those girls so much. When Nate found out that I wouldn't be going to my Wednesday night meetings anymore, he said "Oh, GOOD!!" When I asked why he was so happy about that, he said, "Now I'll have more time to hug you."

What a sweetie.

***

THIS little man is just super cute, but OH MAN what a stinker. :) He has recently started with "Why?" after everything you say to him. It actually cracks me up, because I don't remember Nate having a "Why?" stage. "Aidan, go eat your breakfast." "Why?" "Aidan, I love you." "Why?" He keeps us laughing.
Also, I'm pretty sure that the writers of Family Guy have cameras in our house, because this video is shockingly familiar (we have this scene at least eighty times a day, except I'm not always lying down):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8

***

Somebody's turning SEVEN in a couple weeks (Feb 20th) and he is using his subtraction skills to tell us how many days are left until the 20th. He is so excited and proudly tells everyone who will listen that he is having a Lego party -- oh dear, back in OCTOBER when I told him he could maybe have a party at the Lego store I couldn't imagine he'd actually remember that. When will I learn my lesson??? :)

***

Finally, I wasn't going to tell you that yesterday I was sitting on the couch with Aidan, watching Curious George, and fell asleep. He took the opportunity to do some serious damage by stripping down and pooping on the carpet (yuck, sorry to share). But I feel the need to share that because I also should tell you that while I was typing this long post, he did the same thing again. I suppose that is my BIG hint to go and do my job and PAY ATTENTION to what my two year old is doing in times of quiet.

Y'all have a good day.