Just read a great little blog post on CJane.
Reminded me of the other night....
Adam and I had just put the kids to bed (the older two, anyway). They fought and kicked and screamed all the way to bed ... then fell asleep in 2.1 seconds because they had reached the point of exhaustion. That is what summer is for, right? Play until you can't play anymore! Anyways, I'd just changed a particularly poopy newborn diaper and was getting up off the floor (yes we change diapers on the floor at our house ... because we are all sorts of ghetto around here ...) and looked right at Adam, who had fallen into an exhausted heap on the couch. I said with a glimmer in my eyes "You do know that we have another baby coming to our family someday, right?" His look was incredulous. "You mean you actually want more children?!" (Which, methinks, was akin to saying "You actually think you can handle more children?!") I laughed and said, "I didn't say I wanted more children, I said that we are going to have more. Well, at least one more."
Now, to be clear, I don't know how more children will come to our family. Still not sure if I will physically carry them the nine months or if maybe someone else will. But sometimes I look at these amazing, beautiful, perfect(ish) little people and think, I want a million! I want to drown in the blessings that being a parent brings. But there is a part of me that speaks up : "If you are drowning in the blessings, you will also be drowning in the challenges." And that is why a woman's uterus gives up and waves the white flag after her childbearing years. Woman was not meant to have children past a certain point. And for each of us, that point is different. I have been heard to say that each woman should know her limit and stop there. But I think the truth may actually lie in knowing your limit and then going a little further -- with faith that the Lord will give you the ability to handle it. Prayer is the ultimate way to find out what He would have you do. And if you follow what you believe to be right, you have no one to answer to but Him.
And so, since most of the time I'm at my limit, I think we need to have at least one more ;)
7 comments:
Not sure why, but this post just gave me a zillion goose bumps and made me teary. What a blessing children are. I always seem to have that feeling that there is "room for one more." Not sure how that will play out in my life, but love that you're already thinking about your future growing family. Love the picture you posted with it. Feel like you should have it on your fridge. :)
As a mother of 5 I can say with a smile - "The more the merrier." And you can never consider more babies when there is such a little one around. Eventually the older ones become more independent and the little ones seem big. I can confidently say that we are finished - I think. But, whatever we do, I have enjoyed each and every one of them more than I could have ever imagined. And I'm sad when I see people stop with just a couple because I always think they are missing out on millions of smiling moments.
ps- Having said that I also can say -"Individually I adore my kids. But, sometimes, as a group, they aren't my favorite."
Ah. Something on my mind A LOT lately. I really don't know where I stand actually. I wanted at least 6 kids. I still think I could do it, but I have to take into consideration the sanity of my dear husband. Anyway, my life is feeling a bit too easy right now which usually means...
oh my this is on my mind lately too. We've been trying for a while and no babies are coming. And some days I think should we just not be having more? Should be adopt a kid? Does Heavenly Father think I can't handle anymore? oh who knows!
Beautifully written. Besides, you make WAY too cute of kids to stop now :)
I completely relate. Problem is my husband echoes Adam's comment. I just hope and wait and figure what is meant to happen will.
Love it! Hard to believe that when we are in the middle of home chaos with the kids we can imagine our lives with maybe one more? Love the picture! Love my 4 little princesses and wouldn't change the hard times for nothing!
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